how to ask out a female cashier

Google Schrodingers rapist if you want the full scoop. Point is, right now they don't, and men "doing our usual" isn't going to move the needle. Back to this cashier girl. Please refrain. I agree with Alison: its not no no no never never never but one must be exquisitely aware of the context, which means an almost never thing. How To Read Offense In Madden 21? Bookstore or coffee shop or any number of other public places in which neither of them is at work doing his or her job at the time of the encounter. Correct If youre a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. Sadly she wasn't in today when I was. Part of having agency and being liberated is being able to say, Hell, no! My husband has recently asked me about a mfm *****. Don't jump to asking for her number, build rapport first. and our I worked both large city and small town shops. My rule is simple. Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the weather, and such spontaneous conversations take place frequently. Even these women who we'd call "easy going" only go for what they feel is biologically safe / sound. The girl in the booth at the post office will also talk to you. That sounds very reasonable to me. Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. One of the worst parts of retail was being trapped into conversations with these men over and over and not being able to walk away. It gets so old! Youve got the people who say the waiter seemed friendly, so I gave him my number, and weve been married 30 years now. I think you should go for it. It pays Its a place of business, not a singles bar. Always follow up after the date if you had fun spending time together, even if it was just for one night! The waitress could have said oh, hes off the market or he gets number all the time and is sick of it or something like that so it would avoid the embarrassing interaction if there wasnt a chance for a positive outcome. The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a message. Some talking must have occured behind the scenes Much later, she told me she was married. I too worked retail and was both hit on and asked out. She called, and shortly after she was on my couch. The next day, as I entered the shop, the whole personnel (all women) grinned at me. I've been wanting to ask out a cashier, how do I avoid making her You could try to get friendly with one of his coworkers to find out if hes single, and possibly also when his break is or when he gets off work. Its not only retail I was once asked out repeatedly by the older brother of one of my students! ask out He was removed from my class after that, thankfully (although it took awhile because I didnt report it to my bosses until after the class had ended and then he didnt come back for a couple weeks, and I was definitely nervous about him returning and nervous again when he showed up and I had to say, Boss wanted to see you), and one of my bosses came around and did a brief talk to all the classes without naming any names basically saying, People, dont ask out your teachers. Which was really the best boss reaction I could have asked for, but still, ugh. We talk every day and meet a few times a week. Could, please, the downvoters explain why they do so ? Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. Ask about the cashiers day or tell them about something happening in the store. I've just met a guy, he may be the one! If I didnt think i would get tipped if I turned them down, I gave them a fake phone number and then smiled when they left me a whopping tip behind. Answers always gonna be no if you dont ask. If she doesn't respond, just say "thank you" as the transaction completes and you depart. There's no freedom of motion for her. I still think it could make women feel trapped into flirting back lest they be seen as rude or ungrateful but its better than flat out asking. When she did, the man then ran behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a closed fist, seriously injuring her. Lets have coffee when you get off work seems to be the go-to line. Agreed. *shrug* again, Im sure there are some people who are great at movie and party first dates. (Funny I mentally blocked that). I must disclose agenda: I want a world where women are inherently safe and empowered. Result: He emailed me that night, and we struck up a friendship, but never dated. And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. Assuming you have written your number in that note, she will text/call you if she is interested, otherwise you should not try to do anything more. That's just basic humanity. Youre not leaping from someone making your latte to a dinner date, AND youre not forcing them to respond right away, you know, when theyre working. But we're still not clear of the problem of putting her on the spot. Ubuntu won't accept my choice of password. It did not go well. That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an uncomfortable position. .. ask her name first. Does the order of validations and MAC with clear text matter? Meh. You won't know where to stop and it'll turn creepy. I got asked out by a male repeat customer around my age who had always been polite, nonthreatening, was quite nice-looking, and very interesting to talk to. We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. If you were interested in a customer, what would you do about it? There are those rare occasions where it works out and they get married and live happily ever after, and Im an absolute sucker for those stories of taking a chance and it working out wonderfully. There are probably a lot of gender dynamics at play too (Im a female, I asked out a male) if the roles were reversed it may feel more awkward. Oh, sure. There are a million variables here. Be prepared, your number might end up in the bin with a dramatic gesture, putting you on the spot right then and there, you might be labeled a creep and denied access to the store, depending on how much this tends to upset her. The problem is that all the good intent in the world doesnt really change how the service person being put on the spot is going to react. If you think hes interested, write your phone/text number down and as youre leaving, talk with him a bit, smile, give your number to him and say if you ever want to talk outside of work, call me or text me then leave. I liked the slip him your number idea that way youre not publicly making it awkward for him, and youre putting the ball in his court. Im a male, nearly 30, and I have been going back and forth for weeks about somehow asking out this cashier at a grocery store I frequent. I went to the same drive-thru for YEARS and had a crush on the guy who worked there. He was never angry or aggressive when we were together, just smothering and overstepping his boundaries. Make sure you speak clearly. But I can admit to having a thing for ONE of my customers, so I cant say it never happened. There are definitely some completely unreasonable managers out there, particularly in retail. A lot of males who work in retail treat their job like the Bachelor and its extremely frowned on. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. Remember where you are sexy flirty behaviour leads to confusion where he isnt sure if he understood, its so out of context. I was able to give my friend additional details and she said that the employee sounds nervous and that I should just give him a note, and that in fact, a customer of her own has been leaving notes for awhile and they are now dating. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Mention some public event coming up in the upcoming week that you are planning to attend, such as a concert, puppet show, debate, whatever. Though after doing some work in an environment where the employees were supposed to be *extremely* friendly I realized you have to adjust your signals to the environment or it gets real awkward. On top of all the other overlapping chances of something else being in the way. No one likes that. when Im meeting someone new. And all kinds of stuff in-between. My boyfriend has told me many stories about the waitresses who were in love with him when he was single and I just shake my head in amazement. It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving hints that she's interested in you. She will expect you, on next visit, to quiz her about "did you come?" And I would tell a couple of friends where I was going and who I was with. And movies are basically sitting in the dark next to someone for 90 minutes in an environment that does not favor socializing. Id also like to point out that for all of your talk about women having agency and being liberated, that youre not actually listening to all of the women who have posted here saying that they do not enjoy being hit on/creeped on/asked out by customers at their place of work and that they just want to do their job without feeling like a Playboy bunny. Always be on your best behavior around them in the future. And this is where our similarities come in to play: I was thinking, had I not had a girlfriend, would I ask this girl out? Hey, this looks like "try this" solution, could you add why using this technic is good and will work? Another good thought in that direction is include them in a party inviteHey, Im having some people over on Saturdaycome on by.. (disclaimer, Ive never worked any customer-facing position, so maybe Im way off). Im not saying you should absolutely never do it, but if you do, make sure its very clear that no is a completely acceptable answer and that the persons manager and coworkers will never know about it if the person declines. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. (Im female, btw, and the employee in question is male. I felt like if something could prod him to say that, I must not have imagined it.). Also, the OP doesnt need to overthink: the answer is almost certainly no. Hes probably being nice to the OP because being nice to customers is part of his job. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I believe we're all mature enough to understand the fact that people react differently to you based on how they feel about you. If you run into him somewhere else, that would be fine, though if you got the signals that it would be welcome. Studies show that men are not actually able, on average, to pick up on disinterest, if theyre interested in the person. Your a cashier right? It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. Resin is a vital resource for Conan Exiles players wanting to expand their base and create unlocks. And yes, some people take outright rejection very badly. It kills me how some people react over this, though: dont do it! How dare you inflict yourself on this poor sales assistant! etc. We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). I know I can just walk up to her and be like "you're cute, wanna go out?" These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when This is different, though, from approaching the object of affection. If you are really interested and you think this guy could be something really special then there is a gentle way to go about it. Wrong. cashier Because of that, it can be easy to Admittedly, my old district manager basically fired anyone who had a direct complaint made about them no matter how ridiculous (seriously), but these thoughts would all run through my head and Id be scared my livelihood depended on saying yes to a date with someone in whom I am potentially not interested in at all. Obviously you dont want to be creepily waiting for him by his car or something, but it could give you a chance to ask him out while hes off the clock. You rarely get a sense of whether someones interesting when theyre being polite or friendly due to the nature of their job. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I'd advise against going straight to her with your phone number on a piece of paper without having some small talk before. I have never asked an employee out or hit on a woman working before, and for some reason I think this woman is special, even though I dont know intimate details about her life and vice versa. You never know! If you're awkward around women, and the cashier is the only girl talking to you in your whooooole entire life, then try shopping in another supermarket. I don't want to creep her out or make her uncomfortable, but I don't see her anywhere else to ask her. How to ask someone you see regularly out on a date, without making it awkward? The checkout line isn't the place to have real conversations, let alone get your flirt on. Good thing I didnt leave work yet :/. If you know I was a bartender for many years and the worst thing about my job was the endless flirting and customers asking me out on dates. Note I had never been to that shop before. I have no doubt that there are some rare instances where this has worked out and the couple is now happily married with three kids and a dog and a white picket fence. I wouldnt necessarily invite someone Id met in this compartmentalized way to my home. tru dat mirth!!.. All of my long term relationships have come from mutual friends or activity groups. I dealt with this just as much in a secretarial position as I did in retail. It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. Now I tend to err on the side of it is their job to be nice and their job is shitty enough without you slipping them your number so short of them jumping in my lap I just let it go. Here, you're just leaving a breadcrumb trail. After they reject you, accept their rejection graciously. No one is saying that you cant meet people in public places or even workplaces. Asking me point-blank if Id like to go on a date with you is going to make me feel really uncomfortable. But I was going to come and suggest something like, Are you going to the ZYX event? WebAnswer (1 of 7): At the Drive thru window, this happened to me many a time & the one luxury I suppose was that they could just speed off in their car afterwards (or I could shut the window). Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. bulding up your anxiety is all.. .. have you asked anyone there casually where that one girl is, and what's her name?? I thought he was over 25ish, he though I was under 25ish. I have no idea if men in customer service experience this as well, but I know the men that I worked with almost never dealt with unwanted sexual attention from customers. This could go either way! Since it's about whimsy, the goal here isn't "yes" - the goal here is "why not?". It may be true, but I strongly suspect its not, and its a consequence of anecdotal data, how a creepy experience is much more memorable than a dull normal day at work, and so on. Should I leave a note in case it's busy at her line? I must be old fashioned too, how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? We were both flattered though and it wasnt awkward. There's this cute girl at a local shop that I visit every day. It sounds like hes just good at being a retail employee. Move on quickly and dont take it personally. A lot of comments here are from women saying they get hit on non-stop (and I dont doubt that) but I dont think that really happens to guys (with the except of a select few).

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